Responsibility is a Conscious Choice
It’s the worst moments of your life that define who you are. The best moments in your life are usually defined by positive situations or opportunities coming your way, and have less to do about your own action, but the worst moments are made better or worse solely by your actions and how you choose to deal with them. The worst moments shape your trajectory and send a large ripple out into the universe that people, situations and events respond to for years, or lifetimes, to come. They build the cosmic web of your future, by altering that of the present.
So how do you go about making good decisions and not having to live with situations you regret? It comes down to responsibility. Let’s break that word down. Response + ability is when you choose to respond to situations from a place of consciousness and mindfulness and not react out of fear.
We all have the ability to choose to respond, instead of allowing ourselves to react to what life brings us. If something or some situation is brought to you, it's there for a good reason and it's up to you to figure out why, even if what has shown up goes against everything you know or believe to be true. Those are the best sorts of life lessons and areas for conscious growth! In fact, I would call those some of the biggest blessings we get in life. We have the response-ability to respond to situations from out highest self instead of letting our fears and demons dictate our fate. The difference between living your destiny vs. succumbing to your fate is solely in how you deal with what life brings your way: do you respond from a place of being mindful or do you react out of fear and insecurity?
You can always make your defining moments into something positive, even if those moments are devastatingly bad. That is response-ability: taking anything that is thrown at you in life and using it for good. Look at me. I went from total devastation in my life from debilitating fibromyalgia: losing my home, job and career, marriage, family, declaring bankruptcy and losing everything to my name to being a best-selling author, motivational speaker and media personality. I could have made the choice to react and stay in that very dark place, but I chose to do the hard work necessary to come out on top.
Part of being conscious is in knowing how to recognize a defining moment in your life when it happens so that you can choose how to respond. Allow all situations to be inner fuel for happiness, purpose and completion. Taking the bad and making it into something great is what inspires other people to have hope and make change in their own life. That’s the mark of a great person; not perfection, but response-ability.
Life is an Epic Love Story
If there is one thing to learn about the universe and God it is that love itself is the fabric the entire universe is made up of. Life is intended to be a love story of epic proportions. It's here to give you everything your heart has ever dreamed of. Those things that are so bright and beautiful that the mind can't even comprehend it.
We're all conditioned to believe in practicality. To believe life is supposed to follow a standard script, or rules set in place by tradition, society or family. Not only are we taught to be practical, we're conditioned to believe what we are capable of attaining is limited. And that is all utter BS. Well, you can live that way if you want to: no one is going to stop you. We all have free will after all. But the possibility and potential life has to offer is so much greater than any box your mind will put life in. Life is as big as what you'll allow your heart to dream of.
Free will is what makes the love of the universe a double edge sword: you get what you put your energy into, and if that is the BS in your mind, you'll get BS in life and a mediocre existence. You'll never be fully happy, because a part of you will always know it settled for less than what you know is possible. If you live by the heart, you'll get your hearts desires and more. The amazingness that you are capable of bringing into your life is so awe inspiring that the bliss and joy inside can literally fracture the mind, if you haven't prepared it for greatness.
It takes so much courage to dream, to follow the path of your own heart, and not be influenced by what others want or expect of you. It's the Hero's journey of life. The reason your heart beats is to fulfill your dreams. Every single thing you have in life is based on your dreams and your purpose, down to your physical body's shape and structure. Everything that makes you uniquely you was given to you so that you can fulfill your hearts desires. Think about that for a moment. Think how much God must love you to make you so perfect that you have the potential to draw every single thing you want to you in your life.
Being unhappy is a sign that your mind is running the show and not your heart. The mind is what gets conditioned to the expectation of others. So much so that you might even believe the lie yourself. Be assured, if you are on path and on track to living your destiny, you'll be overwhelmingly happy, even when bad things happen to you and your mind will be silent. Life just can't truly get you down. If you're on track to succumb to your fate, your mind will tell you things are as they should be, or rationalize what's going on. Here's the thing. When the heart leads the way, there is no room for thought, rationalization or justification. The mind does not exist to run the show: it merely reflects the projection of the dreams in your heart so they come true. All the mind ever does is project, and it's up to you to decide if you want it to project the BS you've learned in life about the way things "should be" (like a fucking parrot that has no words of its own) or if you want it to project the vision that God gave you to live a profound life and fulfill your highest calling.
There are certain rights of passage into manhood and womanhood, and the most impactful one is the lesson of being fully yourself, and learning to be uniquely you. These rights of passage don't come with age, they come with maturity, and some people will never get it, regardless of age. It reminds me of chapter 1 in Gita, where Arjuna is on the battlefield and realizes he has to fight against his friends, family and elders if he is to fulfill his own dharma as a warrior. And so is life. You can't be a parrot of other peoples dreams and expect to live your own. You must listen to your own heart. Here's the thing: you can do it. You can do anything you fully put your heart to, no matter how difficult it may seem. I am living proof of that. Life will give you everything you can dream of if you have the courage to follow your heart and be true to yourself.
Dare to Be Different
There's one universal truth that always astounds me, even to this day. That when we look at the lives of change-makers and deeply inspirational people, their lives weren't always always viewed through that same lens of awesome. In fact, most often, their lives early on were viewed as abnormal or somehow deficient. Lacking in common sense, social norms and nearly always failing to meet the expectations of others.
Inspiring people will always have lovers and haters. There's no way around that. In fact, there's no way to be universally liked, no matter how hard you try. If people like you and support you because you agree with their interpretation of life and reality, that doesn't mean you inspire them. It merely means you validate their beliefs and make them comfortable, and that's entirely different.
It's only when you dare to be different, that you'll have the strength necessary to march to the beat of your own drum. It's only when you're okay being uniquely you that you cultivate perseverance, tenacity, and a can-do attitude to overcome even the most difficult of challenges. Being uniquely you is sexy. It's charismatic. It's the mark of a true leader and what separates normal from inspirational. It's the heroes path that we all somewhere inside of us want to walk, but few actually have the courage to.
If your journey has gotten difficult, if the people around you don't always support you, be grateful. It means you're being prepared to do greater things that you may have imagined. Maybe it means you'll be someones hero. More importantly, maybe it means you'll be your own hero and not need to be saved by anyone. Maybe it means one day someone will look at your life's journey and be inspired by it so they can have the courage to be themselves as well.
Every single one of your choices affects your life and the lives of others in a profound way. When you can dare to be different, you dare to be yourself and you give others permission to be themselves as well. You help fuel their courage and bring strength to their journey, as well as your own. You attract opportunities to you that are aligned with your true purpose, and repel the ones that don't really suit your calling. And the greatest of all boons life has to offer, you meet those very special people that make life worth living. The ones that inspire you so deeply that it catalyzes your own greatness and gives you the ability to be and do anything you put your mind and heart to.
A Valentine's Ode To Love
Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite days of the year. Ok, maybe it’s my absolute favorite. Since I was very young, this notion of an entire day dedicated to love really made my dreams come alive. I’ve been trying to write something about love, and wanted to post this on Valentine’s Day, which you can see didn’t happen. I felt lost. Not knowing what to say. And today I figured out why.
Because love doesn’t need any explanation. Love is God, and God is love. They are interchangeable. You’ll never get closer to God than through love. And you’ll never experience anything else on this earth more profound than love. We all seek for it, or some version of it. Some of us run away from it. Especially when the light it shines rips our world view apart. But that is just proof of its profound divine nature and that love itself is God. Nothing else can rip the mind apart to make room for something greater.
You can study God for lifetimes. Learn rituals. Become perfect with mantra. But I’ve come to understand that only when the realization that God is love clicks for you, that you’ll stop searching for God. You’ll accept yourself fully. You’ll place value on the small and meaningful things in life, and not on existential philosophy. Only when you realize God is love will a man be able to look at a woman and truly worship her as The Goddess, with no separation between human and Divine.
It’s not coincidental that Chapter 12 in Gita is about love and Bhakti. That is the same chapter equated to the state of Self-Realization. Because once you get it, and I mean really get it, you’ll never again doubt your connection to God and you’ll always know your relationship with God is sound. You and God are One. Always have been and always will be. Nothing you can say or do changes that. But only when you realize it will the mind stop searching and trying to find God through “spirituality”.
So really, what can be said of love? All things, or nothing at all. It is the greatest mystery and the highest blessing attainable in life. It’s the only thing that brings ultimate peace and joy at the same time. I hope you all find a love in your life that removes all doubt about God, your purpose and eliminates all fear, and helps you become exactly who and what you want to be.
Signs of Inner Prosperity vs Inner Poverty
I have written a lot about inner prosperity and how essential it is for health, wellness and success in life. Check out my book Vibrational Healing if you want more info on the concept. The fascinating thing about inner prosperity is that it has so many levels....so much depth and complexity to it, that it's impossible to define it. I can talk about it, and the experience of it, but inner prosperity is a highly personal concept, as is beauty.
While beauty is a pinnacle concept, inner prosperity is more about depth and creating meaning. Most every person on the planet would say, "I love myself and I value my existence," but is that really true? On one level, yes. On a basic level of belief. On another level, an integrated level, it comes down to how much of your time, energy and thoughts you spend on making yourself happy.
Here's some questions to ask yourself if you want a meter of your own inner prosperity. Be honest with the answers, and yourself, if you want the deepest insight possible. This will show you the difference between saying you value yourself highly and actually living that experience:
When you sit still, what do you feel?
Maybe start by seeing if you can even sit still and do nothing at all but breathe for 30 or 40 minutes, without distraction. If you can't, if you feel you are going to crawl out of your skin and can't even sit and just "be", I would say you lack inner prosperity. This comes down to not being able to be okay with something inside of you, and until you are completely okay with everything about yourself and accept all things, how can inner prosperity find a home in your heart?
Here's some of the possibilities, on a spectrum. You can't sit still. You can, but it's difficult. You sit and feel empty inside (don't fool yourself into thinking this is some profound spiritual experience...it's not). You sit and find yourself journeying out of body (another form of avoidance and a sign of lacking inner prosperity). You feel parts of your past. You dream about your future. You don't feel empty, but you're not sure what you feel. You feel completely ok, and nothing past or future comes in. It's just an experience of right now. You feel a deep seated bliss, arising out of nothing. You feel bliss, and it inspires you to create the life of your dreams.
When you take time to reflect, where are your thoughts?
What is it you think of? Positive or negative things? Other people or yourself? What percentage of your thoughts go into each category? Map this out over a week and be honest. Inwardly prosperous people spend much more time focusing on themselves and what they can do for the world than on trying to appease or make others happy. Happiness is an outcome you have no control over in someone else's life, so to worry about it is fruitless. And anyone who says "if you do X, I'll be happy" is a liar. Focusing on your talents and strengths, those things that you are passionate about and make you happy, and what you can contribute to the world shows you are on track. Aka, your process is much more important than its outcome.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
You're probably already an adult, but you get the point :) What do you really want to be? Are you working towards it, or did your life get diverted? Do you even know what you want, or are you too busy living someone else's dream for your life? Or worse yet, are you living a societally expected script of life? Contrary to what you might think, the last two will not make you happy and are clear signs that inner prosperity is lacking. It means you've bought into someone else's story and dream, and are ignoring the voice of God within your own heart. Is the voice of others louder than your own inner guidance?
If you want to find luminosity and utter brilliance, you have no farther to look than in your own heart. When you nourish and support that which *YOU* are, you'll find the richness and jewels beyond explanation. When you don't, that inner abode will remain elusive. And God is only in that inner abode. You can work your whole life to please others and do what's expected of you, but that won't elevate your relationship with Self or God....it will merely appease the inner poverty in other people, leaving you inwardly bankrupt. And whatever you don't do in this life that you were meant to when you got too busy living the expectation of others, you'll find yourself redoing in the next lifetime, but with more difficulties (difficulties are meant to bring clarity to a situation and force you to make better decisions, they are not meant to hinder you). If you don't believe in multiple lifetimes, it's even worse to live someone else's dream of you because you'd have no way to rectify that mistake.
Avoid externalized projections of God or purpose
The importance of inner prosperity is why I am not fond of ritualistic worship. It does nothing to bring you closer to the God within or to your own life purpose. It takes you to an externalized projection of God and further masks the ability to find God within yourself. Because frankly, who cares if you "find God" or think you do? If you're not able to integrate it with your life and live a life on purpose fulfilling your destiny, it's all merely an illusion. A clever diversion to fool those who are not perceptive enough to know the difference.
Let's make this concept simple. Don't be a parrot. Don't spout off someone else's beliefs, or a tradition, or a religion, or anything like that. People who act like parrots, or walking encyclopedias, are shallow. You'd have zero need to speak someone else's words if you've lived your own experience. Find your depth, your personal experience of divinity, Self and purpose and have the courage to live it.
Natural Ways to Heal & Recover From Surgery
Hey everyone, I promised I'd let you know about how my surgery went and the natural approaches I've been using to recover. I had surgery on Wednesday. It lasted 2 hours, and I was released home the same day. It was not a minor procedure (in fact, this is the most major surgery I've ever had), and I'm glad to not have to stay in the hospital when I can rest at home.
I'll outline everything I've done so far, and update this blog with what I continue to do to recover, naturally. And let me be clear: I'm still doing what my doctor suggested, still taking pain meds even though I don't like them (because the last thing you want to do is get into pain, because then it's harder to control), and being careful with what I do. But I have to recover suuuuuper fast because I have 3 TV appearances coming up very soon, and I need miraculous levels of healing to make this all work!
1. Rest at home. As mentioned, I came home the day of my surgery, wrapped up in a surgical garment with drainage tubes and all. I love the energy in my home. It's set to be a healing energy, so recovery is much faster here.
2. Mantra during surgery. I am fortunate enough to have a small group of people agree to chant mantra for me during my surgery, and trust me, that goes a long way. I had no fear going under anesthesia and was actually quite relaxed.
3. Nano Silver. Leading up to the surgery and post surgery, I've been taking nano silver. Helped to clear out a last minute infection before surgery and it keeps you extra healthy, while strengthening the potency of the post-surgery antibiotics.
4. Homeopathy. Before and after surgery. For 5 days before surgery and still now I've been taking arnica, staphysagria and phosphorus, 30C, 2-4 times daily. Phosphorus helps with recovery from anesthesia, arnica helps with swelling, bruising and pain and staphysagria helps in the healing of surgical wounds.
5. Making sure to get moving! The day of my surgery, when I got home I walked around my apartment. The next day, I waked around my large NYC block. The next day, I walked 1.5 miles. Today I walked over 2 miles (yes, you can just call me superwoman...it's ok!).
6. Stay hydrated. Seeing as how I can't really use my abdominal muscles at all, and can't even get out of bed without help, eating and drinking has been challenging. So is sneezing, coughing, blowing my nose, or pretty much anything. Lol. But I've been making sure to drink electrolytes like Powerade, natural fresh juices pressed from a local juicer (carrot has been amazing, and helps with constipation...a major issue when taking pain meds), some ginger cayenne shots, and plenty of water. Oh, and my daily tea! :)
7. Visualization. I've been visualizing staying healthy and functional. Visualizing the drains coming out early. Visualizing walking well (I have 3 TV appearances coming up I have to be ready for, no matter what, so healing is a top priority for me!).
8. Turmeric. Turmeric is truly a wonder drug! Read my free mini ebook when you sign up for my email list to learn more.
9. Lots of healthy food, and listening to my body. I did an all liquid diet when I got home from surgery. Just fluids and miso soup. I started eating the next day, and all very healthy stuff. Since I can't eat or drink much, every little bit of space inside of me counts, so it's been getting filled with high nutrient, high fiber, easily digestible foods.
10. Probiotics, and lots of them! With taking this much antibiotics, I'm making sure to take ample probiotics too. about 150 billion units a day.
Three days post surgery - I'm regaining some sensation in my abdomen and my body is softening up. I walked 2 miles today. I have *ZERO* bruising whatsoever. And the stitch lines are super clean. My surgeon used some awesome fancy barbed sutures which are sure to aide in the recovery process and minimize scarring, which is awesome!
Four Weeks Post Surgery - I feel like a new person! I'm back to my gym routine and the infrared sauna for a couple of weeks now, still not back with my trainer though. I have to wait a bit longer before resuming my workouts full force. The infrared sauna definitely speeds recovery! All of the TV appearances went fantastic with no problems. I'm back to walking my 2-5 miles per day and feeling great.
Devotion
I never realized how rare devotion was. It’s an inherent part of how I approach my own life, but it’s not how most people have grown up to believe or act due to a sense of inner poverty. A textbook understanding would lead you to know that devotion is love applied to the world of action, meaning that all actions are being governed by an innate wisdom and universal understanding. But what is not clear to people is that devotion is a straight and narrow path that leads to certainty in your actions, and that is rare. And wherever there is certainty (aka, no doubt), there is success.
People have a long way to go to feel self empowered, and to know the world supports them in their efforts. Since most people don’t feel supported, there is a “me first” mentality that keeps people from understand what devotion is. Devotion is “you first”. It’s an understanding that in order to receive, you must first give. You can’t take money out of a bank account before you put money into it. Life is the same way. Unless you can give of yourself into someone else, you won’t be able to reap the joys life has to offer or to feel supported by the universe at large.
Only when people can stop this “me first” mentality will we be able to get rid of this mental disease and sense of lack known as inner poverty. Inner poverty is the enemy of both self confidence and successful, healthy relationships. No one is a mountain. No one becomes successful, or happy, all by themselves. Nothing on this planet sustains itself. Rain nourished plants which create food. Food sustains us. We help sustain the planet. It’s all cyclic.
Here are the questions most people need to ask themselves:
- What part of me is so lacking that I can’t fully devote myself to someone else fully?
- What part me feels jeopardized by giving, which is the basis of all life?
- What part of me feels it will cease to exist if I give a piece of it to someone else?
Figure this out and you’ve discovered the lie that is holding you back. Or more likely the cobweb of beliefs and events that have made you disconnected from your highest self and others. It’s this disconnection that is disempowering and causes life to go off course. Devotion should not be foreign. It should be your life’s blood and what sustains you. It’s the power that enables the universe to have your back in all matters and is what makes life worth living.
Black, White & Shades of Grey - Life and It's Subtle Nuances
When I first started pursuing a spiritual path, I was under the assumption that it was going to help me connect with God and become "spiritual" for lack of a better word. As I continued on my path, I still believed this. I believed I was becoming more "spiritual. " Things improved in my life, and I was happier, healthier and more at peace. But as I continued on the path even further, my entire vantage point shifted. I realized that my life was getting better because I was becoming more human, not more spiritual. I was relating to myself, and others, in a different way. My perspective and vantage point had grown to be more inclusive.
This all started happening when I used the capacity of inner discernment to understand why and how my approach to my life and spiritual practice did not work for everyone. I've never believed there is a single way to do something, and I've always known all paths lead to God, but digging deeper, really contemplating on it, showed me that people don't have spiritual problems; they have human problems. And spirituality is merely a way to help you handle your very real, very human, very mundane problems in life.
Life is not simple. It's not black and white, unless you are very new to your journey and still have a lot left to learn. There is no one way, or right way, to do anything. Your life is is what you make it to be, and the possibilities that your life contain are only as limited as your mind, and your perspective is. If life is black and white to you, you have very little options, or opportunity. If you can expand your perspective to include shades of grey, and ultimately color into the spectrum of your perception, anything is possible. You'll also become a more tolerant, less judgmental person. The more you come to understand this, the more compassion you'll have for yourself and others. And compassion goes a loooooong way towards helping cultivate the inner prosperity necessary for you to achieve your goals.
Destiny, Fate, Karma and Free Will - Everything You Need To Know
Someone asked me a great question. How do you reconcile free will with either the concepts destiny or karma? Let's take a look at this because it's an important concept. I like to conceptualize it like in this diagram, where free will is the central point:
Before we get started, let's first define the terms being used here
Karma literally represents cause and its effect. In this sense it's defined as any situation that happens to you in life, and what you did previously for that situation to be brought to you.
Dharma is the way in which you are intended to live your life, based on your individual temperament and constitution that comes from your unique energy type. This has nothing to do with the concepts of good or bad - It has to do with living your life's purpose and being fully aligned with your innate nature (your unique energy type).
Destiny is the greatness that comes to you in life, based on how well you navigate your karma and dharma through free will in order to live your life's purpose. Destiny happens when you learn the lessons from karma and use all of your life's experiences as a way to support your life's purpose (even and especially the negative things). This comes from discipline, consistency, gratitude, how well you know yourself and overall good decision-making capacities.
Fate is what happens when you have weak will-power and lack of ability to follow through on what you know is right and best for you. When you use free will to make bad decisions that go against your innate nature, or don't learn the lessons from your karma, fate happens.
Free Will is our capacity to make decisions in life and express our desires to the universe. While you can't control your karma or dharma (because dharma comes from your unique energy type and karma is merely cause and effect), you can use free will to steer the outcome of what happens to you in life. After all, life is not about what happens to you, but how you choose to respond to what happens.
Let's look at how they work together
Destiny and Fate are two sides of a single spectrum, just as Karma and Dharma are two sides of a single spectrum. Free will sits right in the middle and determines where on this diagram you end up in life. It's the force that controls which direction you move in. Karma and Dharma are both neutral concepts used to navigate you towards Destiny or Fate and cannot be labeled as good or bad. You can label Destiny and Fate, however, because this spectrum is a direct reflection of how you've navigated the challenges of life, for better or worse.
The Karma/Dharma line relate to Being, or the Shiva transcendental aspects of life. You can't change them. They just "are," whereas the Destiny/Fate line is totally up to how you play the game of life. It's the changeable aspect of Shakti and Prakriti. Karma and Dharma enable you to know who you are, through the experience of life. How well you exert your free will is the sole factor that determines the outcome of your life. While you can't change the Karma/Dharma line, you have absolute control over whether you move towards Destiny or Fate. That's what makes life life, and what makes it worth living.
Emotions and how they contribute to Destiny or Fate
Certain emotions can lead towards fate if you leave them unmanaged, including fear, anger, blame, avoidance, escapism, bitterness and other related emotions that weigh you down. If you're heading in a bad direction, the good thing is you can always choose to change by realizing it's your own responsibility to shape the outcome of your life, despite what happens in life itself. Positive emotions including confidence, fearlessness, faith, trust, openness, hope, love, faith and joy are all emotions that will help you make good decisions in life that will lead you closer to your greatness and Destiny.
If you learn from your life's experiences (even and especially the difficult ones) letting them mold you in accordance with your life's purpose and what's in your heart, you'll learn to use free will as the most powerful gift and tool life has to offer. It takes courage, faith and gratitude to do this, though, so persevere and always believe in yourself!
Moving towards Destiny takes a lot of hard work, accountability, discipline and integrity, but the rewards are beyond measure. Life really is up to what you make of it, so choose your thoughts and actions wisely!