A Dream or a Fantasy?
Have you ever taken time to consider what fantasies are made from? They are different than dreams. Dreams are things we thing are possibly attainable in life. Fantasies are the things we think we want that are beyond attainable. And interestingly, they are mental projections of what we deem to be perfection, and this notion of perfection is based on things we lack. Think about it: if it’s comfortable and familiar to you, you won’t fantasize about it. You’ll dream about it, and that’s entirely different.
It’s so unfortunate the human mind likes to equate the concept of perfection with things unattainable, and even worse, false projections of what we think will make us happy. It’s not the lack of a particular tangible thing in life that makes people unhappy; it’s the feeling one has of not being accepted. Or not being loved, or not being good enough. But even those feelings of not being good enough are just projections of the mind (because you definitely are good enough), and since they are not based in reality, the things we fantasize about to “fix” our lives are equally as false.
There is one good thing about fantasies though. If you pick them apart through a lens of inner discernment, you can start to learn what your insecurities are and uncover the lies your mind tells you about what is making you unhappy. Maybe your fantasy is to be a super model, because you think you’re not beautiful enough: it’s a lie. You’re not happy because you feel being drop dead gorgeous is a requirement for people to love or respect you, and that is completely untrue. Maybe your spouse cheated on you and you think that’s why you’re unhappy. Wrong again: you’re unhappy because someone you wanted has rejected you, making you feel unloved and unaccepted, even by yourself. It doesn’t matter what the particular catalyst is, everything comes back to lacking a feeling of acceptance that you don’t feel you can cultivate on your own. If you could cultivate it on your own, it wouldn’t matter to you when other people criticize you. When you are secure in yourself, other peoples opinions no longer matter.
The truth is, no person or thing can ever do enough or be enough or love you enough to change those false projections you have about yourself. They can mask over them, like a bandaid, but only you can tear down those false narratives of your life so that you’re fully in control of your life and your responses to what life brings you. If you don’t fully accept yourself regardless of what other people think or say, you’ll spend a lifetime catering to other peoples desires and opinions of how you should live your life. And this brings us right back to where we started, about fantasies. You’ll create those false projections of what you think will make you happy, only to find out when you get what you thought you wanted that nothing has changed and you’re not a step closer to real joy.
This is what I call real world spirituality. it’s not about mantra, or meditation or religious worship of God - those things might be tools to help you connect to yourself, but if not, it’s definitely not spirituality. Spirituality is about connecting with yourself and the God within so completely that you learn to be the master of your life: happy, healthy and completely fulfilled.